Men on Dating Apps: The First Date

Hopefully you’ve had a chance to read our previous blogs on mastering your dating app photos and crafting your opening line. With those tips and your charming conversational skills you’ve now successfully gotten the lady you’ve been chatting with to agree to a first date. If you’re out of date locations because you always take your first dates to the same bar, see our District Feature section or First Date Locations blog for inspiration. Once the meeting spot is out of the way, here are some suggestions that will help you ace your first date:

Look like your photo.

We understand that you change your hair length based on the season or maybe you’ve put on a few pound from not enough sport machen in the winter. Just don’t show up with a bald head when you have long hair in your photos or with a few extra pounds when you proudly sported a six-pack in all of your candid beach pics. Not only does it make it harder to recognize you when meeting in a public space but we will also be annoyed because, let’s all admit, we swipe right mainly because of how you look in your profile pictures.

First impressions are flawed.

Meeting someone for the first time can be nerve-wracking. Even if the conversation flowed smoothly over text, that chemistry may not translate into real life. Maybe one of you are preoccupied by work or personal issues making it harder to come up with things to talk about. Don’t give up after a few awkward silences! Many times, after you grow more comfortable with each other (sometimes with the help of few beverages), you’ll discover unique things about your date and the conversation will start to flow. If things don’t turn around after, let’s say an hour, there’s no harm in heading out early. As we are all painfully aware, not all dates will end in true love.

Who pays in the end?

As more people from different cultures settle in Berlin, the answer to who pays on a first date has become even more unclear. In some cultures, it’s assumed that the man treats early on in the relationship. In others, who ever makes the invitation pays. But in Berlin, it seems that no real rules apply. Many men are insulted when it’s assumed they have to pony up their cash to pay for a woman’s drinks. While many woman are insulted when a guy loudly exclaims to everyone at the bar “GETRENNT!”

There’s no need for things to be awkward when ordering at a bar or restaurant. Have an open discussion when you first sit down about what you and your date are used to or suggest paying for alternating rounds. Hopefully after that conversation the rest of your date goes well, otherwise you won’t be cashing in on that second drink.

Go home alone or together?

It should never, we repeat never, be assumed that you are going home with your date. No matter how many drinks she has, no matter how many of your lame jokes she laughs at, the decision isn’t final unless both parties agree. If you’re genuinely interested in keeping the night going but don’t want to keep paying for drinks or maybe the bar is too loud and crowded, transition into a walk outside (given appropriate weather) and grab a couple of .50 cent späti beers. You get the bonus of alone time without throwing your date off with the suggestion of going back to her place or yours.

Regardless of what you decide, be honest about your intentions. If you had a good time but don’t see the possibility of a second date so you only want to be physical for one night, be open about it. Don’t go home with a girl, sneak out in the middle of the night, then ghost her because you’re too afraid to have a grown-up talk.

Most importantly, remember that every woman is different and dating isn’t one size fits all. If you’re open, honest and set out to have a good time, any date should end with at least a few laughs and in the best case, a cool chick to hang out with. Don’t forget to move your relationship off of the app at the end of a good date. Exchange phone numbers so you get WhatsApp notifications instead of Tinder messages.


Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Published by berlinerinblog

Many move to Berlin with an idea of what it will be like to live, work, and build relationships in the city but shortly after arriving they realize things are vastly different. Berlinerin aims to change that. By covering well-known and not-so-common information, highlighting the wonderful women making their mark on the city, and providing a platform for women to connect this blog is dedicated to discussing the reality of life in Berlin. Started by two women drawn to the city for its creative spirit and the uniqueness of its inhabitants, they hope that the topics covered on this site will enrich your Berlin experience.

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