The Disappearing Friends of Berlin

By: Serita Braxton

As I scroll through all of the Facebook groups for women in Berlin, the most frequent post I see is of women looking to meet new people in the hopes of making friends. These posts generally get hundreds of likes and dozens of other women with the same goal eager to meet up. Meeting details are agreed upon, drinks and laughs are had and then pairs of women exchange information vowing to “do this again sometime”.

Fast forward a few weeks later and the same women who suggested that you trade numbers, added you on Facebook and in some cases followed you on Instagram, are no where to be found when you want to grab drinks on Friday or brunch on Sunday. It’s bad enough that the dating situation in Berlin is dire, but if we can’t count on our fellow Berlinerins not to ghost us, who can we trust?

Personally, I’ve had my fair share of phantom friends. You meet by chance because they overheard you ordering something in English, you end up grabbing drinks together the next weekend, hangout like besties for a few weeks or even months and then seemingly – out of nowhere – they either become too busy to hang out or stop texting all together. Yet, there’s always dozens upon dozens of women in Berlin searching for a solid group of friends to hang out.

There are some cases where the friends you make decide to leave Berlin or you stop hanging out with someone because their work schedule changes or they get a new boyfriend and decide to spend more of their free time with them. But generally, there’s no clear reason why these friendships that start out on fire end up fading out. Everything seems to be going well, until it’s just not.

How can we as Berlinerin build longer lasting friendships that will stand the test of time?People are allowed to be busy and others can be forgetful about responding to text. If someone doesn’t respond right away, don’t give up! Send a follow up text to see what they’re up to, maybe they’re not ignoring you on purpose. But, as with any relationship – it takes two, so if the other person isn’t meeting you half way, save your energy for the next lovely lady you meet at a social event. As you do meet new people, work to build up a group of friends to share your free time just in case one or a couple have busy schedules or fall off of the face of the earth. The more the merrier they say!

While I may have lost touch with some people since arriving in Berlin I’ve also made a solid group of wonderful friends that have lasted, even if they’ve moved away. This city that we are constantly learning to navigate is always in transition. People leave, our favorite bars close, the U-Bahn near your house is always under construction. But eventually you’ll meet people who will love you enough to stick around, like us. At Berlinerin blog, you can always sit with us and our invitation to Taco Tuesday is always open.

Keep an eye on our event calendar on our homepage to join us for a Berlinerin meetup!

 

Photo by Flo Karr on Unsplash

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