Now that you’ve mastered which photos best reflect who you are on whichever (or all) the dating apps that you chose, here’s where the real work starts. You begin to browse through your matches and swipe left or right. (Don’t be the guy who only swipes right with reckless abandon.) Then you eventually match with a nice woman who has a witty bio (because you actually read it) and well rounded pictures (because you weren’t just looking at her boobs).
What do you say in order to spark a conversation that will eventually lead to meeting for drinks? (Also don’t be the guy who texts for weeks with no intention of meeting.) Here are a list of opening lines that are not, we repeat – are not, appropriate:
“Nice (insert body part here)”
“Hot” or “Sexy” or some other lame one word quip
It’s beyond reason why any man would think that these openers would lead to a meaningful conversation. (Unless you’re getting your dating cues from PornHub.) It may seem elementary and way too easy but if you can’t think of anything clever to say, how about just start with: “Hi, (insert correct name here)! How is your day going?” Seriously, it’s that simple.
If you are aiming for a step above simple and you’ve actually read the profile of the woman you plan to message (refer to first paragraph) try using that to craft your opener. If she likes to travel, tell her something cool about the last place you visited. If her profile goes on about taco Tuesday (like ours does) then suggest taking her to the next one.
Women aren’t expecting you to write a poem or novel. The goal is to spark a conversation that shows you’re interested in her and most importantly, that you’re serious about meeting in real life. There is nothing worse than chatting it up with a guy for several days only to realize that he has no real intention of hanging out. If we wanted a pen pal we would send our grandma letters back home.
Start off strong with a simple hello, ask a few questions and let the conversation lead you into determining if the two of you would hit it off over coffee or cocktails. We’re not saying you have to meet everyone but get out there and take the talking from your screen to a cafe. In the case that you aren’t familiar with Berlin, you’ll never be at a loss of places to meet at with our date night suggestions.
If you realize after chatting for a while that you and your match aren’t really a match at all, don’t just disappear. Drop her a short message saying that you don’t think the two of you are compatible. While it may seem awkward for someone you’ve never met, it’s better than ghosting a woman and leaving her wondering why you stopped responding to her messages when things were going well in her mind.
Our final tip should go without saying but here we are, saying it anyways – do not stalk women on social media and bypass apps in order to message them. The whole point of being on an app that delivers messages only after two people have mutually liked each other is that you have control over who contacts you. Don’t take that power away from women by finding them on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn or Vero and sliding into their DMs with “Hey, I saw you on Bumble, wanna chat?”
Either they haven’t seen your profile yet or have seen you and decided that they would not like to connect with you, in any case, your message is more than likely going to make them uncomfortable. If her profile doesn’t explicitly state: “Message me on my Insta” err on the side of caution and stay out of her inbox.
DISCLAIMER: It should go without saying that if you are the hookup or ONS guy, the only in town for the weekend guy, the only swiping for an ego boost guy or are trying to win an award for wasting women’s time this blog isn’t for you.