Men on Dating Apps: Photo Selection

Even though our blog is primarily dedicated to the ladies, we’d like to think that we can do our part to inform men too. Seeing how we can’t seem to live with them or without them, the least we can do is provide some tips to make coexisting a bit easier. Especially when it comes to the world of dating apps.

Guys, you may have a bunch of male friends giving you advice on what photos to post, what your opening message should be or how to go about setting up your first meeting, but let us be the ones to tell you: the advice they’re giving you is wrong. After speaking with women in different cities from all over the world, one thing rings true for all of them: men have no idea what they’re doing on dating apps.

First let’s start with one of the most important swiping factors: presentation. The entire premise of using dating apps to meet people is that you’re primarily basing whether you like someone on how they look. It’s like window shopping – but for people. No matter how cute and clever your bio is, if your photos don’t intrigue the other person, a few sentences aren’t going to get them to swipe right.

There is a general consensus on how women perceive you based on the photos you select. For starters, if you post a shameless shirtless photo – selfie or not – women generally assume you’re looking for just sex. It’s fine to post a photo of you at the beach or caught in some cute candid moment getting out of a pool but there’s a fine line between showing off your abs and trying to show off your bulge.

Next, if you can’t seem to find a single photo of you without a cigarette in your hand or mouth, you’re probably going to get ruled out by all non-smoking women. If you and cigarettes are that co-dependent, your options are going to be narrowed down to fellow smokers. The idea of making out with someone who can’t seem to keep a cigarette out of their mouth isn’t that appealing to the women who don’t.

This seems to be a popular one but us ladies can’t figure out why: men who have hats and/or sunglasses on in every single photo. We have deducted that if all of your photos include one of both: you’re ashamed to show your face, you’re losing your hair or you’re in some sort of witness protection program. If that’s not the case, try to throw in at least one photo where your face is unobstructed.

Here’s one that should go without stating but yet here we are – stating it – the man with only one photo. Maybe you’re confident that this one photo will pull in plenty of matches but more times than not, we think it’s shady. We assume that this one photo isn’t actually a photo of you because even the most attractive men, for example Brad Pitt, have more than one photo to choose from and you’re not Brad Pitt. So stop posting photos of Brad Pitt trying to make us think that you’re Brad Pitt.

Bonus advice: nix photos of you in bed with your eyes closed because either you’re pretending to be asleep or you leave us wondering who took the photo of you. If you’re over 17, spare us the photos of you sticking your middle finger up at the camera. Finally, no matter how much you love your friends, don’t make us try to figure out which person in the photo is you because you’re never alone in any of your photos. If you’re purposefully trying to confuse us, we’re generally going to swipe left and save ourselves the trouble.

Being clear is key – we can’t window shop through a blurry window. Post photos that accurately represent what you look like and the things that are important in your life. But remember to not let those things overpower your photos – i.e. we love that you’re active but we can’t see what you look like from six long distance photos of you surfing. We hope that these tips will help when adding photos to your dating app profile but we’re only getting started. Check back for advice on bio, message delivery and more.

Photo by Caleb George on Unsplash

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