The One In The Sauna

By Katrin Ziegler

I am not at all against a first date at a bar. It might not be a particularly creative choice, but it’s a comparably safe one. I do like creative and unusual ideas though, which is why I was intrigued by the idea of having a first date at a sauna.

After not having gone on any dates for a while this seemed like an ambitious plan. For quite a while I wasn’t even sure if I would actually follow through with this. But after some thinking, it sounded like a fun thing to try. My date suggested a spa I hadn’t been to before and from what I saw online it looked really nice – worst case, I would get to try a new spa in the city.

Okay, I had to get naked in front of my date right away…but then again it might be nice to have an idea about his full package straight away, right? Plus, a guy suggesting to go to a spa on the first date couldn’t be that bad. Finally – I’m German, so getting naked in front of other people isn’t as big of a deal for me. Going for “the full Monty” and being naked at a spa with my date was therefore nothing I would lose nerves over. Or so I thought.

When my date started to shamelessly check me out in the changing area, my 30 seconds of carelessness were over already. And it only got worse from there. My date apparently had no idea of appropriate spa behavior – or simply didn’t care.  While the hot tub was a good choice to escape the staring – not the touching. After several attempts by my date to pull me onto his lap and try to touch me VERY inappropriately, I decided it was time to go to a sauna. Surely he would give the grabbing a rest there, right? Instead my date thought it would be the perfect setting to give me a “nice and relaxing” back massage.

I don’t particularly like massages in general – but this one was a sheer nightmare. How did he not notice that none of the other visitors did anything remotely like that? Just because people are naked that doesn’t mean that you are at a sex show or have permission to stare and touch however it pleases you. As neither the hot tub, nor the sauna or the steam room turned out to be safe activities I could enjoy, I quickly figured that the only way to end this misery was to leave.

My date didn’t feel like ending his spa retreat just yet, which made me realize that I would have to pay for my stay myself as you had to pay when checking out. Unfortunately, the spa wasn’t the cheapest activity but it didn’t take me long to evaluate that I’d rather pay the 30€ than spend another minute in the spa dealing with his gawking eyes or wandering hands. Don’t get me wrong – I usually have no problem paying for myself – it actually makes me more comfortable most of the time. But in this case though it felt like a total waste of money.

I guess unusual first date ideas will still earn you points for creativity and boldness, but in the future I will evaluate those ideas more carefully. Or set some guidelines for acceptable spa behavior.

#NoBadDatesJustGoodStories

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